Tidbit #5

What is it that attracts us to certain people and certain types of people? The other day my friends and I passed the gas station and saw a guy in a leather jacket filling the tank on his motorcycle. My one friend said “Its funny because I don’t know how I have gone my whole life and not known that motorcycles require gas in the tank.” I turned to her and said “Gas? I thought they ran purely on sex appeal…”

Is attraction really attraction? Or is it merely a chemical reaction of your body to someone else’s? I think that when you find yourself in certain situations with someone, its easy to find yourself attracted to that person. Something about seeing a guy on a motorcycle, wearing a leather jacket and his hair is all messed up and wind blown, makes me drawn to them. Their exciting and dangerous. When you do exciting things with someone like roller coasters, snowboarding, sports or anything that gets the adrenaline and endorphins rushing its easy to mistake the excitement for attraction. Don’t get the wrong idea that I’m saying that attraction doesn’t exist, but I think that we oftentimes mistake the sense of adventure with attraction to the person you’re sharing it with.

When I was a junior in high school my choir took a trip from our little town to the big and great San Francisco. I spent most of the time with two of my really good girlfriends and two of my guy friends and their other friend who I didn’t know all that well. About the second day in I was beginning to find myself attracted to this boy I didn’t know well. We talked almost the whole trip down and I really liked that he had a similar personality. We are both very bold and flirtatious and don’t hold back certain comments. As we went to various places, we both ended up being a pair seeing as the rest of the group had paired off. As each day passed I was smitten. I was having a blast and I loved being able to share every moment with him. But the moment we got back home, it was almost like it never happened. We stayed friends and would flirt from time to time, but it didn’t feel as exciting as it had in San Francisco. I had mistaken that sense of adventure and something new for attraction. As I look back on pictures of him, I do think he is good looking, but I don’t find myself attracted.

I think this is a common mistake among humans. We so easily accept that we are attracted to someone and just stick with that. We don’t need to settle or be picky, but we simply need to practice more caution and stay level headed. A healthy relationship is so much more than attraction and chemistry. How does that person treat you? How are the conversations? What are their personal habits and are they someone that if there was a lack of adventure and excitement you would still be happy and be able to find that sense of excitement? Just remember that the engine of a motorcycle doesn’t run purely on sex appeal.

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