This week in class we talked about a very sensitive topic that can sometimes be very hard to approach. We discussed gender roles and same-sex attraction. In the last few years we have been told over and over that we are just ‘born that way’ and that same-sex attraction is genetic and biological. I’m not completely and fully denying that it is biological or genetic, but merely expressing my beliefs that there is whole lot more that factors into it than just being ‘born that way’.
I hope that I can express this without being insensitive but I do hope that I am clear and concise about what I am saying. I believe that we are all children of a Heavenly Father who loves each of us so perfectly. I also happen to believe that when we are born, our gender is so specific to our identity. I believe that girls are generally more nurturing and sensitive than boys, and that boys are more aggressive and assertive than girls. I’m not saying that it is black or white, but I think on a broad scale of those traits girls tend to lean more towards the nurturing and caring side, and that boys are more towards the other side. Obviously this allows for some to be in the middle and that is okay. That is why there girls that are a bit of a tomboy, or boys that are a bit more sensitive than others, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Oftentimes, when people see that a girl is a bit more athletic or aggressive than others or that a boy is more artistic and not as rough and tumble, they start to get concerned and in a way overreact that their child or student is in danger of becoming identified, by self and society, as a homosexual. In class we learned a bit about a study where it is considered that the majority of the time, people who identify as homosexual or same sex attracted have experienced a variety of experiences where they often feel excluded by the same sex at an early age and feel the need to impress them, and as they grew and go through puberty they begin to feel excited or intrigued by the same gender; most people that considered themselves to be homosexual had had problems with pornography or had encountered sexual abuse as a child, and it often resulted in confusion which led to those thoughts of same sex attraction.
I understand the sensitivity of this topic, and I just want to express my solemn and humble belief that it is more than just genetics and being ‘born that way’. I believe that there may be somewhat of a factor of the chemicals in the brain reacting to the people around you in the situations you’re in, but I also believe that is very much a choice and that you consciously make a decision about how you’re going to go on with it. We all have our agency, and as I said earlier, we have a Heavenly Father who loves each us so I don’t believe that he would make someone a way in which they didn’t have a choice in who they would be attracted to and love. I had a psychology professor say in class once that, “You have no control over the sensations you encounter, but you do have control how you perceive it. Perception is in your control.” We don’t always get to control the situations we are in, and we don’t always get to control what happens to us, but we do have control over what we will do with it and how we will let it control our lives. That is the great thing about being a human…we get to decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.